|
Stupid joke 9/11/2007
Why is a woman different from a fridge?
A fridge doesnt fart when you take out the meat!
0 Comments,
23 Views,
1 Votes
|
|
Stupid jokes 9/11/2007
Did you hear about the two gay judges?
They tried each other!
0 Comments,
35 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score
|
|
Stupid jokes 9/11/2007
Did you hear about the octopus that only had six tentacles?
He wasnt the full squid!
0 Comments,
38 Views,
4 Votes
,1.30 Score
|
|
Google 9/2/2007
A man and woman were having an argument about which gender
was better. They decided that whoever had more inventions
to their gender's name would take the crown.
The female, being the smarter one, sits on Google and types
out the words "she invented" to see who all were
the great ones of her kind.
And thanks to her and Google, The Man won and took home the
crown. How? Google it ...
0 Comments,
128 Views,
6 Votes
,0.80 Score
|
|
QANTAS 8/28/2007
Just in case you need a laugh: Remember it takes a college
degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix
one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our
jobs. After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called
a "gripe sheet, " which tells mechanics about
problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the
problems, document their repairs on the form, and then ...
1 Comments,
66 Views,
7 Votes
,4.31 Score
|
|
Top Ten Secrets to a Bigger Wider Penis Guaranteed To Win The Praise of Alt Women Everywhere 8/26/2007
1. Buy better porn.
2. Go to the fun house.
3. Steal photos from the internet.
4. Strapons are available for men.
5. Take photography classes and buy a wide angle lens.
6. Bribe the optometrist next time you take her for new eyeglasses.
7. Perfect the sly cell camera shot so next time you’re in
the locker room you can capture the one you ...
1 Comments,
87 Views,
7 Votes
,3.80 Score
|
|
Proposed Definitions for Alt Checklist Fetishes 8/22/2007
Age Play – A rare form of role play where men try to act their
age. It’s almost impossible to maintain more than very
brief periods of time.
Ass Play - Engaging in conversation with certain personality
types that rear their head.
Biting – An activity usually attributed to remarks some
women exchange with one another.
Blood Play - The escalated result of said ...
0 Comments,
137 Views,
15 Votes
,5.58 Score
|
|
Dubya 8/20/2007
I've posted this one before, but it's still funny.
Donald Rumsfeld is giving President Bush his daily briefing
on the Iraq war.
He concludes by saying, "Yesterday, three Brazilian
soldiers were killed."
"Oh no!" the President exclaims. "That's
terrible!"
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously
watching as the President sits, head ...
0 Comments,
116 Views,
14 Votes
,5.38 Score
|
|
I pinched this one from AdultFriendFinder 8/13/2007
A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock at the door.
He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's 3:30 in
the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this
time, " he thinks, and rolls over.
Then a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going
to answer that?" says his wife. So he drags himself
out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there
is a man standing ...
0 Comments,
196 Views,
7 Votes
,3.30 Score
|
|
For those who love the philosophy of ambiguity 8/7/2007
1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the
sweaty things. 2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor....
3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still Have
monkeys and apes? 5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he Knows where
all the bad girls live. 6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's
the ...
0 Comments,
70 Views,
4 Votes
,4.02 Score
|
|
The Soldier and the Nun 8/5/2007
A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please,
may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later."
The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police ran up
and asked, Sister, have you seen a soldier?"
The nun replied, "He went that way.
"After the MP's ran off, the soldier crawled
out from under her skirt and said, "I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, ...
0 Comments,
145 Views,
8 Votes
,4.87 Score
|
|
orgasmic 7/26/2007
A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first
class section of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out
a tissue, gently wiped her nose, and then visibly shuddered
for ten to fifteen seconds.
The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the
woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, and
then shuddered violently once more.
Assuming that the ...
0 Comments,
142 Views,
6 Votes
,5.36 Score
|
|
tasmanians have two heads 7/26/2007
A young man graduated from University of Tasmania with
a degree in journalism. His first assignment for the newspaper
which hired him was to write a human interest story.
Being from Tassie, he went back to the bush to do his research.
He went to an old farmer's house way back in the hills,
introduced himself to the farmer, and proceeded to explain
to him why he was there.
He ...
0 Comments,
77 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
|
|
Flowers 7/23/2007
One sunny day a blonde and a brunette were passing by a flower shop on their way to work. The brunette happened to see her hubby buy a bouquet of flowers
and overheard him say to the clerk "Have the card say,
to my beatiful wife"
The brunette turns to the blonde and says "Damn, now
i'm going to have to spend the whole weekend with my legs in the air!"
To which the blonde replies ...
3 Comments,
275 Views,
20 Votes
,5.55 Score
|
|
Celery Spankin !! 7/23/2007
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive
woman waving at him.
She says hello.
He's rather taken back because he can't place
where he knows her from.
So he says, "Do you know me?"
To which she replies, "I think you're the father
of one of my ."
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been
unfaithful to his wife and ...
2 Comments,
258 Views,
14 Votes
,6.50 Score
|
|
From Groucho... 7/21/2007
So this Vaudeville actor arrived in this small town that
his show was going through. He had a real bad case laryngitis
and could barely talk.
One of the locals at the theatre told him where he could find
a doctor. He went to the doctor's house and knocked
on the front door. This amazingly beautiful woman, who
also happened to be the doc's wife, answered the door.
He a tiny whisper the ...
0 Comments,
75 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
|
|
Scousers! 7/15/2007
Scousers Vs Manks
One morning, years ago, three Scousers and three Manks
were in a ticket counter line at a train station. The three Manks each bought
a ticket and watched as the three Scousers bought just one ticket.
"How are the three of you going to travel on only one
ticket?" asked one of the Manks.
"Watch and learn, " answered one of the Scousers.
All six ...
1 Comments,
129 Views,
4 Votes
,5.57 Score
|
|
bar 7/14/2007
a priest, rabbi, and reverend enter the bar, bartender
looks up and says "hey, whats this, some kind of a joke?"
0 Comments,
129 Views,
7 Votes
,0.49 Score
|
|
Blow job 7/8/2007
A Scouser was sat in a pub having a drink in his home town,
when in minces a gay boy. The gay boy takes a shine to the scouser and after a few drinks
getting up dutch courage, he minces over to the scouser
and asks him if he would like a blow job. The scouser takes exeption to this and gives the gay boy
a real good pasting and then he kicks the gay boy out of the
pub. The barman saw this and asks ...
0 Comments,
146 Views,
8 Votes
,3.48 Score
|
|
6 Shots Of Jagermeister 6/25/2007
A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What
can i get you? "The bartender inquires. "i want
6 shots of Jagermeister, "Responded the young man.
6 shots? are you celebrating something? "Yeah my
first blowjob." "Well in that case ley me give
you a 7th on the house" "No offense sir but if
6 shots won't get rid of the taste nothing will!
0 Comments,
149 Views,
7 Votes
,4.31 Score
|
|
Superman Gets Horny 6/25/2007
One day superman is really horny and sees wonderwoman sunbathing
on a beach naked! he gets an idea...."They've
always said i'm faster than a speeding bullet and i've
always wondered what she'd be like with all her powers.
so he zooms down and does her in a flash and is gone before
anyone can notice. all of a sudden wonderwoman sits up and
says, "What was that? then the invisible man gets
off her ...
0 Comments,
166 Views,
14 Votes
,5.54 Score
|
|
crude sex joke 6/25/2007
Q What do a Rubix and a penis have in common? A The longer you
play with them, the harder they get!
1 Comments,
90 Views,
6 Votes
,5.36 Score
|
|
Classic 6/24/2007
A woman was standing in a crowed lift of the hotel she was
staying in. when a man got in and accidentally elbowed her
in the breast. the man said "i'm sorry! but if
your heart is as soft as your tit, you'll forgive me,
"so the woman replies, "if your dick is as hard
as your elbow then i am staying in room 113"
0 Comments,
163 Views,
6 Votes
,5.36 Score
|
|
Crude joke 6/24/2007
Q What is better than a cold bud? A A Warm bush!
0 Comments,
118 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score
|
|
Crude jokes 6/24/2007
Q How do you know when you are getting old? A When you start
having dry dreams and wet farts!
0 Comments,
88 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score
|
|
Crude jokes 6/24/2007
Q What did the banana say to the vibrator? A Why are you shaking
she's going to eat me!
0 Comments,
58 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
|
|
Classic joke 6/24/2007
One day an indian boy asked his father why they have such
long names? The dad answers, "Well whenever a
indian baby is born the father would go outside and name
the baby after the first thing he sees... Why do you ask Two
Dogs Fucking"
0 Comments,
120 Views,
3 Votes
,1.96 Score
|
|
A new bride went to the doctor 6/24/2007
A new bride went to the doctor for a check up, Lacking knowledge
of the male anatomy, she asked the doctor "What's
that thing hanging between my husbands legs?" The
doctor replies "We call that the penis. "The
new bride then asks "What's that reddish/purple
thing on the end of the penis? The doctor replies "We
call that the head of the penis? ...
0 Comments,
186 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
|
|
Blonde joke 6/24/2007
A couple of blondes were driving through Louisiana when
they came to a sign that told them they were almost to Natchitoches.
They argued all the way there about how to pronounce the
name of the town. Finally they stopped for lunch. after
gettingtheir food, one of the blondes said to the cashier, "Can
you settle an argument for us? Very Slowly, tell us where
we are" ...
1 Comments,
157 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
|
|
Blonde joke 6/24/2007
Q. What do you call a blonde with a runny nose? A. FULL!
0 Comments,
100 Views,
1 Votes
|
